I have good days and bad days. By good, it means I've had a day with few tears and plenty of smiles. I see people and talk to friends and feel productive. Meals are cooked and laundry is done and I check things off the to do list.
On other days I turn inward and it's not pretty. The rest of the world has continued on with life and mine is forever changed. I haven't yet figured out what the days are supposed to feel like.
It's tempting to curl up in a ball under the sheets and just let it out. I journal a lot. I cry a lot.
Today I went to visit the children's memorial butterfly garden for some quiet. It was 70 degrees and sunny, a gorgeous fall day. Darcy's brick was installed a couple weeks ago. It rests on a brick path surrounded by trees and native plants, just past a vine-covered arbor. It is a beautiful spot.
I sat on a bench and listened to the waterfall. There were families playing at the nearby playground. The sound was bittersweet.