{ missing } Darcy Jaye
{ p.s. }

{ love } the healing quilt

Thank you. Your comments and emails mean so much right now.

It's been seven weeks since we lost our baby and I am still going through the motions of daily life in a fog most of the time.  I have to concentrate just to remember what month it is. Or the day of the week. I'm already failing miserably with back to school deadlines and have what seems like fifteen alerts set up on my phone so I don't forget simple things like meeting Fidget at the bus after kindergarten or taking my medication. 

For one minute things seem better and then I spy a newborn baby girl or hear a song on the radio or smell something that would have turned my stomach while pregnant but doesn't anymore because, well, I'm not. And then I am plunged into the deep again, head spinning and emotions in full gear. 

I have also been moved to tears by the kindness and generosity of others.

While on a much-needed getaway with my husband on the Oregon Coast last week, my dear friend, Sarah, and her family met us in town for dinner.  We were staying at her family's cabin and I was already indebted to her for hooking us up with such a great spot at the last minute.

Cannon Beach, OR

Not only did they make a 90-minute drive to have dinner with us one night, but she surprised me with one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever received.  In the weeks since I had lost Darcy, Sarah and some of my closest crafty friends from all over the country had collaborated to create a quilt for me and my family.


Oh, the tears.


The word 'surprised' is totally inadequate.


So is the word 'beautiful'.


And 'thoughtful'.


And 'meaningful'.


Some of the blocks have butterflies -- in the print or in shape or, even, embroidered.  It was quilted with a butterfly pattern.  And our names are embroidered in the quilting as well.


As you can imagine, I am still overwhelmed by this generous and thoughtful gift. On the other hand, I am under strict direction to make sure this thing gets used, so I have it in my living room on the sofa for everyday use. Its presence is a gentle reminder of the love that surrounds and lifts us up. The girls are obsessed with finding their names in the stitching and it has already served to cuddle and nap, to crawl upon and hide under, as a tent and, today, as a giant Fidget Burrito.


Every time I open it, I notice one more detail.


The words 'thank you' are so ridiculously short of what I need and want to say.  I love this quilt.  I love the women whose hands and fabric stashes reached out to hug me the only way they could.  I still don't feel deserving of something so big, but I am so very grateful for their love.


Sarah has written a beautiful blog post about how the quilt came to be, and about blogs and friends and the universe. You should read it.


So, this post is my thank you to all of them.  My dear friends... Sarah Jackson, Jade Sims, Grace Snow, Erin Harris, Cathy Gaubert, Beki Lambert, Laura Capello, Lori Hanson, Alicia Alferman, Amy Harding, Michelle Needham, Emily Demsky, Sarah Brundage, Lisa Clarke, and Stacy Dinkel.  Thank you.  We love it.  I love it. 

The quilt also came with an original watercolor card painted by my friend, the sweet and talented Heather Smith Jones.  I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to have a third piece of hers in my house... you betcha I'm framing this one, too. 

hsj card (love)

It was quilted by Tillie Studio and I still marvel at how she got our names in there. Beautiful.


I'm looking back through this post shaking my head.  It's not enough. I need to shoot each square and post them in my flickr album so you can see who made what and appreciate each block individually. Later today, perhaps, when the sun is out and the light is better.

For now, I have a date with Spunky, a cup of coffee, and a comfy spot on the sofa. 

xoxo.  Love is all you need.



glad there is comfort there. xo
and that quilting...freaking awesome!


what an intensely thoughtful embrace. you + your family are truly loved, and it is so beautiful how your friendships have become the fabric of one another's lives. a treasure.
love to and prayers for you + yours, chris. xoxo


I love the quilt and I love you.


love you! xo.

Sarah :: greenclogs

I love you. But you probably know that now, since I told the whole Internet. xoxo

chris carleton

@Sarah: Its just one big lovefest today. hee.


Wow. This brought tears to my eyes and gave my goosebumps. What a wonderful, loving gesture. Beautiful beautiful beautiful.


Don't feel that it is too much, my friend. I think we all felt that two block couldn't possibly be enough to show you our love. Every stitch, with love, love, love.


I'm without words at this outpour of love and compassion from your close circle of friends. What a blessing. My heart goes out to you and your family about your littlest one's passing. Perhaps, our Samantha is teaching her the ropes. Warmest thoughts.


Chris- This is so amazingly beautiful! Both visually and spiritually! I was also brought to tears and I am sending you the warmest "old friend" hug right now!


hugs, my friend! love you :)

amy h

Lori has it right -- not too much at all. Rather, not enough. I'm so happy to see your sweet family using this quilt! Take care, friend.

Lisa Clarke

I just love seeing that beautiful quilt all finished, and I especially love to see it in use, wrapping you and your family in so many good thoughts. Hugs!


You are such a treasure to so many, Chris. Love you.


Such a wonderful gift... glad it brought you some joy :)


So glad Sarah and your friends were able to wrap you in their love. You are surrounded by love - do know that.

Alicia A.

Wrap yourself up in our love, sweetie. Big hugs.


It's all so beautiful; The quilt, the gesture, your friendships.


"I still don't feel deserving of something so big, but I am so very grateful for their love."

oh honey, we only wish there was more we could do. you are so very loved (and deserving).


Beautiful! What wonderful friends you have!


wow. there are gestures, and then there are GESTURES. wow.

the thoughts and prayers of many are with you often.

Dalai Lina

It is so good to hear from you again. Your post and the beautiful quilt brought tears to my eyes. I love that they did that for you. You are such a kind, loving person, it is no wonder you have caring friends!


What a beautiful gift! Thinking of you...


I found your blog through Beki Lambert's blog. I am so sorry about your loss, it brought me to tears. I cannot imagine what a sweet surprise that quilt brought and had I known about this, I too, without even knowing you, would have happily contributed a block. I can't imagine the sorrow you have experienced. What a sweet service with a release of butterflies at the end. You sound like such a beautiful lady. Please accept my condolences for your loss.


How beautiful. I'm so glad you can all wrap yourselves up in the love that is in that quilt. Jacinta


It's fantastic! Wonderful, inspiring and you can see just made with so much love. I adore Sarahs post and I wish I had known about the quilt as would have loved to contribute. Anything to bring some sunshine to your dark and difficult days. I'm sorry again Chris it truly it's such a difficult time for you. Still thinking of you often no matter how busy my days are and I am just someone that has enjoyed your blog, your sense of humor, creativity, funny parenting stories and admired your sewing.


there's not much out there that is more awesome than a giant fidget burrito! ;) to say that i was humbled and honored to stitch together some bits of fabric for you is indeed an understatement.

Catherine Denton

My heart weeps for you. This quilt is stunning and vibrant. What beautiful friends to have done such a kindness. I pray God comforts you and your family.


what a beautiful gesture. this is the power of women when they come together, whether in person or virtually. the power to comfort, protect and help the healing process begin. blessings on you and your family in this time of sadness and healing and hope for the future.

Lasso the Moon

This is beautiful. What a precious gift. The ultimate use for a quilt is to comfort the heart.


What a gorgeous quilt. Of course anything made with a tonne of love would turn out so beautiful. I sit here in tears not knowing what words of comfort to say just as the day I grieved with my sister in law as we said goodbye to her dying newborn baby girl. I just hugged her very tight as we cried in each others arms. I just know that God has given her strength to get through it with loved ones around her and she came out the other end with another beautiful baby girl. I can see that you are blessed with this good fortune too. My heart is heavy for you but I want to say God bless you and your familyou during this time. I wish you lots of love. XOX.

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