{ laughing } who's the boss?

I fought a good fight. 

I loved my wagon.

We could squeeze two car seats and a skinny teenager in the back seat.  And a dog in the 'way back', surrounded by bags and whatnot for trips out of town.

It was 4-wheel drive and turbo.  And loaded.  Whee!

I loved my wagon.

But it was becoming too much of a struggle for us all to go anywhere.  And babygirl is about to upgrade her seat (how is it possible that she is almost 10 mos?), which will squeeze the biggest girl out...

So we 'had' to get a new car.

I let hubs do all the looking and number-running and comparison internet researching and showroom visiting. It made me sad, the idea of getting rid of my mama-wagon. 

I loved my wagon. 

Have I mentioned that?

The idea of a bigger vehicle did not thrill me.  There are gauges on either side of our garage door frame because of the last bigger car.  (In my defense, we do have to take a hard right turn before entering the garage from the driveway. It is really shocking that this has only happened twice.)  And the expense.  Oy.

One day he brought a car home for me to try.  I drove it around the block and decided it would do.  It was certainly roomy enough.  Really, it was a very nice vehicle.  Very nice.

I said okay in a small voice and the deal was sealed.

And then we went to pick it up on a nasty, cold, snowy Saturday.  It snowed and slushed 12 inches here that day. I did not drive it home or once we were home.  I was skeered. 

He spent a good chunk of Sunday afternoon programming my new car.  I did not know what this meant.  I guessed he meant the garage door openers and the seats.

I guessed incorrectly.

How so?

Monday morning 8:30 am.  I have checkups for the little girls scheduled at 9 am.

Feeling pret-ty good about our timeframe -- all three of us presentable and with accessories and extra food and teething rings and backpacks and diapers and wipes and... you know.  I got both girls in their newly adjusted car seats.  I adjust my mirrors, the seat.  I get my cell phone out and put it in the cup holder.  I check my lipstick. 

And then I started the car.

SPORTS RADIO PERSONALITIES ARE SCREAMING AT ME.  YELLING ABOUT MARCH MADNESS AND BRACKETS AND BUTLER!!!  BUTLER!!!  BUTLER!!!!

ACK!  THE BABY IS STARTLED AND SCREAMS.

'MOM,, TOOOOO LOUD!!!!" YELLS FIDGET.

"I KNOW!  I KNOW! I'M SORRY..."I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH BUTTON IS FOR VOLUME!   SURELY IT IS THE ONE WITH THE MUSIC NOTES ON IT.  NO.  THAT IS SWITCHING THE STATIONS.  OH, NOW IT IS LOUD AND STATICKY AND...SWITCHING BETWEEN ALL OF THE AM STATIONS. 

Oh wait.  It's this Other button.  The one with the line through it.  Of course. 

I am breaking a sweat and we haven't left the garage.

Breathing more easily, I take one last look at the phone to check the time.  (I'm not even sure where the time is on this new instrument panel.  I am flustered easily.  You do not want me as your go-to gal in a crisis situation.)

My phone has a message across the screen:

"ACTIVATE BLUETOOTH"  Um ,ok.  Maybe later.  Whatever.  I press the button to make it go away and see the regular screen.  It is now 8:40.

I put the car in Reverse. 

A camera shot of the back of my car appears in my rearview mirror.  This feels weird.  BEEP BEEP BEEP!  It is telling me the WAGON (sniff sniff) is parked out side, to the right.... ok.

I head out slowly, watching mirrors, checking all my spots, trying to get the feel of this much bigger car.

And then.

"TURN RIGHT ONTO MAPLE DRIVE."

What the heck?  My car is telling me where to go?  I didn't turn that on.  What? 

"MAKE NEXT RIGHT ONTO ARTHUR DRIVE"

Um, no.  I don't need this right now.

"Mommy?  What is that?  Why is the car telling us where to go?"

"I don't know sweetie.  I have no idea.  I'm calling Daddy."

"IN 200 FEET, TURN LEFT ONTO WARD ROAD"

(shut UP, already!!!!)

I hit hubs' number on my cell phone and sit there, at the entrance to our neighborhood, with my phone pressed to my cheek, checking the mirror, praying no one comes up behind me.

THIS IS HUBS, I hear, over the car speakers. 

(Huh?  Heavens.  It's the Blue Tooth.)

Hi honey, it's me, I say to the air.

{HI DADDY!  HI DADDY!} 

HI, WHAT DO YOU NEED?  HI FIDGET!

"TURN LEFT ONTO WARD ROAD"

Um, honey, I think the nav is on and I don't know how to turn it off.  And I don't know where it wants me to go.  And it's stressing me out.  And you're on the speakers.

I KNOW.  I SET THAT UP FOR YOU.  JUST SAY 'CANCEL ROUTE' AND IT SHOULD TURN OFF.

Cancel Route.

SAY IT LOUDER.

CANCEL ROUTE! I am yelling at myself in the rearview mirror.

{CANCEL ROUTE! CANCEL ROUTE! yells Fidget.}

"CONTINUE 1.5 MILES TO HIGHLAND ROAD AND TAKE A LEFT"

CANCEL ROUTE!!! I say, hubs says and Fidget yells at the same time.

WAIT, MAYBE YOU HAVE TO SAY CANCEL ROUTE AFTER I HANG UP.  WHEN I HANG UP, WAIT FOR HER NEXT INSTRUCTION AND JUST SAY 'CANCEL ROUTE'.  

It's not a Her.  It's a him.

IT WAS A HER YESTERDAY.

Well, it's a him.  And he's bossing me around.  And I don't need this right now.

{CANCEL ROUTE! CANCEL ROUTE! }

OR YOU COULD PUSH THE PHONE BUTTON AND SAY CANCEL ROUTE.  I HAD TO GIVE IT A STARTING DESTINATION WHEN I WAS SETTING IT UP YESTERDAY, SO I PUT IN THE DOC'S OFFICE.  SO AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE NAV.

(Which is nice, because the only thing that could make this even more fun would be if he were RECALCULATING and getting impatient with my agenda.)

Okay, okay, I am saying.... I want to cry and I am breaking into a full sweat. CANCEL ROUTE! CANCEL ROUTE! yells Fidget.  God bless her, she's trying to help.  It is now 8:45.  I don't even know how to hang up.  I push what looks like a phone hang-up button on my steering wheel.  After a few seconds I hear, "unable to establish connection."  Good enough.

"TURN LEFT ON HIGHLAND ROAD IN 150 FEET."

CANCEL ROUTE! CANCEL ROUTE!  Fidget and I are yelling.

"CONTINUE NORTH ON HIGHLAND ROAD FOR 2.3 MILES AND..."

I am losing it.  I start pushing buttons, still yelling, CANCEL ROUTE, hoping ONE of them will cancel this Helpful Feature and make him Shut Up Forever.

But, no.

All of a sudden I see my dashboard display has changed -- it no longer has the mileage and direction, but says:

DRIVE IN CIRCLES TO CALIBRATE TIRES.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.  I was not thinking nice thoughts.

And then I started laughing so hard I just about peed my pants.

Somehow, and I'm not sure how exactly, I pushed enough additional buttons to get out of that one.  And that is a good thing, because the last thing we needed was to fight between our navigator and the vehicle itself.  Oy.

"TURN RIGHT IN .5 MILES ON 4TH STREET AND CONTINUE TO HWY 40, EXIT LEFT." 

{ CANCEL ROUTE!!  CANCEL ROUTE!   Mommy, that's not working, is it?}

No sweets, it's not....

We arrive at the pediatrician's office at 9 sharp.  Got in, got out.  Kids are great.  Dandy.  We got back in the car and I took a deep breath.  As we turned out onto the road we hear a lovely female voice: 

YOU HAVE NOW REACHED YOUR DESTINATION.  IF YOU NEED ADDITIONAL ASSISTANCE, SAY 'CONTINUE'.  IF YOUR TRIP IS COMPLETE, JUST SAY 'END ROUTE.'

Slightly exasperated and completely doubtful, Fidge and I both gave it our best 'END ROUTE!

And, by golly, it worked.

I haven't heard from Bossy Him or Bossy Her since then.  Perhaps they have found each other and are living blissfully, tucked between a fan belt and some washing fluid.  I am a little afraid that one day I will start the car and they will have -- by some stroke of magical science -- multiplied, and demand a family road trip to Branson.

It could happen.

(All of these photos have been taken over the past couple years on roads near our house... peaceful without the soundtrack, huh?)

{ shop } there's new stuff over there

Tonight I am taking a break from sewing and cleanup up plastic eggs and shredded paper grass to update my etsy shop.  The thing is, all this wonderful stuff is taking over my studio. 

 

I have the best luck with linens, I tell you.  Wish I could keep them all.  Don't you think those two towels would make the perfect gift for a bride-to-be?

There is also possibly the most disorganized and random assembly-line project of mass pj bottom making in the studio.  I have these crazy plans to have a few ready for mother's day.  I know.  Crazy, right?

Good night!

{ etsy love } Beki's bags...

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Baby Audrey is continuing to improve... isn't that wonderful news???  It is hard not believe in the power of prayer and the possibilities of miracles when you read her story.  Thank you for letting me share.  xoxo

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On to crafty things...

Have you got your Dottie Vintage bag yet?

My dear friend, Beki, of Artsy Crafty Babe fame, has a few of these in her shop. They are all made with vintage linens and scream Spring. My word, this girl's workmanship is flawless. A little intimidating, really, Beks.

Anyway, as soon as I knew she was making these available, I snatched one up. And I'm so glad I did. I have so many large gigantor purses that double as diaper bags, this one is a nice change of pace.  

I am still coveting the totes, though. 

Next up... the cutest little baby book you have ever seen. 

I promise, it is.

Now I just have to fill it. 

Sigh.

{ a heavy heart }

It's been quiet here at the Fence this week.  My heart has been occupied with thoughts and prayers (oh, so many!) for three month old Audrey Elizabeth Pearce (via caring bridge). 

What started out as a fairly routine visit to the pediatrician to check for reflux issues ended this family in St. Louis Children's Hospital about three weeks ago, "diagnosed with ALCAPA--Anomalous Left Coronary Artery to the Pulmonary Artery--meaning that her left coronary should be attached to her Aorta, but was attached to her Pulmonary Artery."   It is very rare.  

My husband and I went to school with Audrey's Dad, Matt, and his parents are friends of my in-laws. I remember hearing the news in December that little Audrey was born. I have never met his wife, Yvette, but if I ever do I will surely burst into tears.  Her journal is hands-down one of the most raw and heartbreaking things I have ever read.  And it is, at the same time, also one of the most beautiful.  Her strength and faith are humbling.  I have said to hubs so many times this week, I don't think I could do it.  I would be in the corner, crying my eyes out.  Take me instead.  Please.... 

( I have a lot of growing to do. )

An excerpt from today's journal entry:

"It's almost 2p.  I have been asked to leave the room.  They are setting up a sterile field for Audrey.  I lean over her and kiss her face, stroke her hair, and whisper so gently in her ear that I love her and that she can do it.  She has such a beautiful little mouth, and those eyes..they smile at you when she's happy.  Do you know anyone that smiles with their eyes when they are happy?  I think that is a gift.  It shows that someone is truly joyful on the inside.  So here I go once again to the conference room.  Red dividers up;unit closed...."

Can you imagine?

They closed up her chest today and she is fighting an enormous blood clot that needs to dissolve, less it dislodges and causes all sorts of problems.  By all accounts, the doctors are pleased with the closing procedure today and she has had 24- 48 hours without any serious setbacks.  These are all good things, but she is still hooked up to a ventilator and being infused with eight medications....

I'm praying for Audrey.  And for her amazing parents.  And their two other kids.  And the doctors.  

And when I'm not doing that, I'm trying to clean house.  Apparently you have to stay on top of that or it takes over and sends the dust bunnies out to get you.  (Like those rabbits in Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail.  I'm serious.)