Tulips and Lemons
April 23, 2008
This is the door to the church in Old Downtown that I pass every day. Monday morning I had noticed the tulips had bloomed, all full and bright and flirty. So yesterday I made sure to bring my trusty camera on the way to preschool, praying that the previous night's crazy storms hadn't beaten those pretty tulips to a pulp. As you can see, they did just fine. Better than fine, really. The rain made everything dewy and lush.
Sometimes I think about the crazy storms in my life, when I wasn't sure if I would be happy again. Mostly, the time I spent as a single mom after my divorce. Standing before a judge and wetting myself, scared, knowing someone else had control over my life with my daughter; shaking and burning up inside, alone, 1700 miles away from my family. Dropping my grocery bag, sending the milk and eggs across my driveway -- and not knowing how I was going to feed my kid now since I had just used my last $6 until payday and the support checks didn't come. Coming to terms that a full-time working single-mom didn't have time to date and I wasn't probably ever going to marry again. Or have more kids. Or anything. Hiding in my laundry room, crying, ashamed of my depression and not wanting my little girl to see mommy so sad. It broke me down, those years.
There are several years of my life I keep tucked safely away... pretty much the year leading up to my divorce to the day I was granted the Court's permission to move home to the Midwest with my daughter. Almost 7 years, total. And there are several details I don't ever want my daughter to read, so I can't post them here.
But today? Ten years later? I am doing just fine, too. Better than fine. Life is sweet. The tears are happy ones. And I'm stronger and thankful and hell-bent on enjoying every minute. Had I not married in haste the first time, I might not have ended up marrying the love of my life.
(In fact, had Dwayne T. not asked me go to prom with him, thus preventing me from accepting Mr Pink's invitation 18 years ago, I might not be married now, either. Because we might have ended up dating then... and breaking up...and not marrying later after we'd 'growed up' a bit. Life has a funny way of working out.) And if you could follow *that* despite the careless pronouns and conditional phrasing, wow.
I never thought I'd look back on my Past (complete with stacks of scary legal documentation) and think I'm a lucky gal. But I am. Today is that much sweeter for it.
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I didn't mean for this to be a lemonade from lemons kind of post, but it is. Alison tagged for one over the weekend and lookee what happened. I'm not good at tagging people for memes, but I like this one. I'm supposed to tag 6, but cut it short at 3. So Rachel, Jade, & Lori, consider yourself tagged. You're welcome. ;)
* Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
* Link back to person who tagged you.
* Write about an incident in your life you first thought was really bad, but ended up being a blessing.
* Tag six ( I only did 3) random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let each person you tagged know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
That was so beautiful! I'm glad that you've been able to be w/Mr. Pink.
Posted by: Alison | April 23, 2008 at 12:18 PM
You have come through it all with grace and kindness, my friend.
And I am soooooo very bad at memes. I'll have to think on that one.
Posted by: laeroport | April 23, 2008 at 12:31 PM
What a wonderful post Mrs. Pink. Raw and real - just like life.
Posted by: molly | April 23, 2008 at 01:04 PM
This is going to take some thought, oh, no it won't. i already thought of one!
Posted by: Rachel | April 23, 2008 at 01:48 PM
Thanks for sharing your lemons story for us. You know, I have a really strong faith and believe that although our paths may go in ways we might not have planned we are still learning and growing and becoming stronger in the end.
Thanks for tagging me! Now, time for reflection... Hmmmm... What do I feel comfortable letting the world know???
Posted by: Jade | April 23, 2008 at 01:51 PM
Aww thanks for sharing. That is a very touching post *HUG*
Posted by: Jennifer Rosson | April 23, 2008 at 01:53 PM
What a wonderful perspective you have. I love the picture, too!
Posted by: nikko | April 23, 2008 at 02:26 PM
Funny how things all work out. In your case it was a wonderful blessing.
Posted by: lera | April 23, 2008 at 03:07 PM
Life certainly does have a funny way of working out. If you have the courage to face up to it. Wonderful, inspirational post.
Posted by: Ali | April 23, 2008 at 06:12 PM
Thanks for sharing, that was a touching story. Just this afternoon I was thinking about my past and how I got to where I am today. My past isn't a pretty one. I once wrote a very raw post about it, but it has since been deleted. It's funny how life works out, isn't it?
Posted by: beki | April 23, 2008 at 07:55 PM
Life is good. It worked out. A happy ending.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Amanda | April 23, 2008 at 11:58 PM
That post touched me. I'm so glad you were strong enough to get through the bad times so that you can now enjoy the good times.
Posted by: Mary | April 24, 2008 at 10:04 AM
I was touched by your story. It takes great strength to survive tough times like that. How wonderful that your pink prince charming was waiting when that nightmare was behind you.
Posted by: tracy | April 24, 2008 at 08:39 PM
I've found that since having kids, there's not one aspect of my past that I would change, as it all led up to them.
Posted by: Lil' d | April 24, 2008 at 11:23 PM
thanks for helping me with coasters", hihi. Have a great weekend
Hugs from Singapore
Posted by: a home far away | April 25, 2008 at 07:14 AM
you are a strong woman, mrs. pink.
Posted by: erin | April 25, 2008 at 01:43 PM
I am so happy that things have worked out for you like they have.
Knowing all of this just makes me like you even more.
Hugs to you!
Posted by: Alicia A. | April 25, 2008 at 04:10 PM
I was very touched by your openess in this post. God was never ashamed of your depression and he was by your side through all those things. Sometimes it's hard to see into the future, but by the looks of your blog it is very bright!
Posted by: Mary Smith | April 26, 2008 at 03:30 AM